Finding Your Why
What is the “why” for trying a diet?
It is your reason for wanting to make a change. It is your purpose that drives you to eat healthy, move your body, and push toward achieving your goals even when you’re tired or don’t feel like it.
Extrinsic vs Intrinsic Motivation
Extrinsic motivation is when your motivation for a lifestyle change is based on an external reward e.g. looking good in a swim-suit. Intrinsic motivation is when your motivation comes from within. The motivation is driven from the enjoyment of the task itself. E.g. I enjoy the endorphins and stress relief that I achieve with high intensity exercise. Both forms of motivation are useful for making a transformation.
Extrinsic motivation is typically useful for short term goals, whereas intrinsic motivation is important and necessary for you to make a lasting, long term lifestyle change. In all honesty, that’s what we really want and need! How many times have you dieted only to come off the diet and regain the weight you worked so hard to lose? With this program, the focus is on implementing habits that will help you maintain your healthy lifestyle long term. In order to do so, it is important to discover your sources of intrinsic motivation.
You need to find internal reasons for why you want to make a change, and I’m here to help you with that. The decision to change for good needs to come from within and not some external reason (e.g. for a partner or because your doctor said you need to lose weight).
Imagine a young woman who has yo-yo dieted since she was 16 years old because she wanted to look hot (just being real). This woman has tried almost every diet imaginable- from Jenny Craig to Weight Watchers to taking Phentermine pills. Imagine if this same woman was told that she was pre-diabetic and would ultimately develop diabetes requiring medications. This woman’s father developed severe complications from diabetes (including congestive heart failure, insulin dependence, and kidney failure requiring daily dialysis). He passed away at the young age of 56 from a wound infection. When she discovered that she was pre-diabetic in her 30s she became scared and knew she had to make a permanent change if she wanted to live a long healthy life. By now I’m sure you’ve figured out that the woman in the story is ME! Thankfully, I can now stop referring to myself in the third person lol. I had finally figured out my intrinsic “why”. I knew I didn’t want to end up on dialysis or die in my 50s. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to look good, but that’s not my primary source of motivation. After all, who gives a crap if you look good in a coffin in your 50s?
Why is finding my “why” so important for a healthy lifestyle?
It’s important because finding your “why” will help to anchor you and keep you motivated to stay on track when things become hard, when you’re faced with temptation, when you feel like giving up, or when you feel like you’re not quite getting the results you desire.
Knowing the reason why you want to change your life and become a healthier version of yourself will also help you get back on track if you ever slip-up.
I believe that most people are unsuccessful with diet/ lifestyle changes in the long term because they don’t take the time to find their “why”. This is why I am stressing the importance of this process. I care about your future. Anyone can lose weight, but the most difficult thing is maintaining lifestyle changes that will help you keep the weight off long-term. If you take the time to do the work, dig deep and find your “why”, I have no doubt that you will be successful!
How do I find my “why”?
Identify what/who you value, think of a time you were at your very best. Who were you with? What were you doing? Perhaps you were with your family? Find a way to connect that experience to your health. For example, if you were at your best with your spouse or significant other perhaps you could start cooking together and finding ways to make healthy meals taste delicious.
Think of all the reasons you want to lose weight and become healthy.
What or who is motivating you to pursue a healthier lifestyle?
Do you want to live long to be able to enjoy your children and future (or present) grandchildren?
Do you lack energy and find it difficult to get out of bed in the morning? Imagine how it would feel to be able to get out of bed and have a spring in your step when your feet hit the ground?
Are you feeling uncomfortable in your own skin? Imagine if you felt confident and proud of yourself.
Did you have a recent health scare or do you have a close family who suffered from a treatable illness e.g. diabetes or hypertension.
Identify intrinsic (reasons connected to what you value/enjoy- e.g. I’m doing this because I want energy to play with my children) vs extrinsic reasons (e.g. I want to look good for summer). Remember, It’s good to have both, but a deeper, intrinsic “why” is important for long term maintenance.
Make a separate list of the intrinsic reasons for change. From that list choose the reason that means the most to you. It should elicit emotion deep inside, and it needs to be strong enough to keep you strong when you’re faced with temptation (eating something off plan, overeating, or skipping a workout).
Next Steps for Discovering Your Why:
Take some time to discover your own “why”. There needs to be a strong emotional connection to your why. For example, suppose your “why” is to live a long life so that you can be around for your children. That’s an excellent start, but I want you to consider what the consequences would be if you didn’t make a permanent change. Perhaps you’d continue to gain weight and eventually develop a medical condition that prevented you from spending time with your children because you were always in the hospital. On the other hand, what if you focused on the many positive aspects of making a change. What effect would it have on your children and your relationship with them? Imagine being able to run around with your children/grandchildren without feeling tired or short of breath. Would that be worth it to you?! Ask yourself “what would make it worth it?”.
Write down your “why” on a post it note and place it in an area where you’ll see it every single day (the fridge and bathroom mirrors are great options).
In order to solidify your “why” and make it a part of you, it is important to share it with the people you are closest to in your life (e.g. your significant other, children, parents or close friends).
If/when you are faced with temptation in the future, I’d like you to state your “why” out loud. For example, most of the time I don’t really feel like working out- just being honest. I have done the work and dug deep to find my “why”. So whenever I don’t feel like exercising (which is basically every day lol), I say this out loud: “I know I don’t feel like exercising today, BUT I’m doing this because I want to live a long, healthy life, and I don’t want to die from complications of diabetes like my father did”. This serves as a reminder for why it’s important for me to get regular exercise. It also emphasizes the need for a deeply rooted, internal, emotional “why”.
Yo-Yo Dieting vs. Lifestyle Transformations
Back in the day when I used to yo-yo diet, I only wanted to lose weight so that I would look good. Obviously, aesthetics remain important to me; however, it isn’t a strong enough “why” because it doesn’t come from within. I also knew that I could dress well and take time to make my hair and make-up look great. Even at my heaviest, I could put the effort in and look good. Because of that, it was so easy for me to go off track and eat foods that moved me further from my goals (think donuts and pizza on a regular basis). Now that I have a strong, deeply rooted “why” it’s easier for me to say no to those things. I don’t want you to think I’m perfect because I am far from it. I still indulge in the “naughty” foods I enjoy from time to time. I’m just strategic about it now, and I most certainly don’t indulge every day. This is one of the first steps to help you develop a healthy lifestyle. Please don’t rush this part of the process. I promise you that once you find your “why” it’ll be an absolute game changer for you!
Leave a comment below or send me an email “Transform@EliteHolitisicGroup.com to share your “why” with me. I want to hear your thoughts.
If you’re not sure how to find your own “why”, schedule a free consultation with me by clicking “Work with me”. I’d love to help!